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For several years before the COVID-19 pandemic, I felt God drawing me toward something I never expected: Orthodox Christianity.

At first, I ignored it.

I had spent most of my life immersed in the Occult and New Age spirituality, Eastern philosophies, and shamanic practices. Christianity wasn’t even on my radar, much less becoming Orthodox. Yet the pull wouldn’t go away. The more I tried to dismiss it, the stronger it became. Looking back now, I can see that Christ was patiently calling me to Himself. At the time, I simply didn’t know how to recognize His voice.

In the late summer of 2020, I finally stopped resisting.

When I shared what was happening with my husband, he was understandably surprised. We had built our lives around a very different spiritual worldview. For as long as he had known me, I had been interested in mysticism, intuition, meditation, and the search for hidden spiritual knowledge.

That journey had started young. By middle school, I was reading Shirley MacLaine and exploring New Age ideas. I attended psychic fairs hosted by the Berkeley Psychic Institute, experimented with tarot cards, sought out out-of-body experiences, and eventually began offering intuitive readings myself. I sincerely believed I was seeking God.

Over the years, I had many spiritual experiences. Some felt beautiful and full of light. Others left me uneasy, though I couldn’t explain why. At the time, I took all of them as confirmation that I was growing spiritually.

Now I see those experiences differently.

Rather than drawing me into a relationship with the living God, much of what I pursued revolved around my own desires and perceptions. I decided what truth was instead of allowing Truth to transform me. I wanted a spirituality that fit my life instead of surrendering my life to God.

To my great joy, my husband didn’t dismiss what I was experiencing. Instead, he agreed to come with me.

A few weeks later, we attended our first Divine Liturgy at a small Russian Orthodox parish in the Pacific Northwest. A parish that is still our home today.

Walking into that little church is something I’ll never forget.

I can’t fully explain it, but I felt as though I had stepped into a place I had somehow always belonged. Everything, the icons, the incense, the chanting, the prayers, felt ancient, beautiful, and deeply alive. I didn’t understand much of what was happening, but I knew I wanted to come back.

Converting to Orthodoxy wasn’t an easy decision. I expected at least some friends or family to think I had lost my mind. After all, someone who had spent years immersed in the occult and New Age spirituality becoming an Orthodox Christian is quite a change.

I knew that becoming an Orthodox Christian would raise questions. Some family members and friends understood why I had made such a dramatic change, while others didn’t. That wasn’t always easy, but I’ve come to see that God has a way of refining our relationships as He refines us. The people who were meant to walk this journey with me remained, and for that I am deeply grateful.

As I began learning about the Orthodox faith, I discovered Christ in a way I never had before. I realized He had been pursuing me long before I ever thought I was pursuing Him. I simply hadn’t learned to recognize His voice.

By the grace of God, I was received into the Orthodox Church in 2021. Today, I worship in that same parish, continue to grow in the faith, and serve as a catechist.

This blog is my attempt to tell the story honestly, the story of how Christ led me out of the occult, through years of searching, and into His Church. I’ll be sharing more about that journey in future posts, including some of the experiences that eventually convinced me I could no longer remain where I was.

If you’ve found your way here because you’re curious about Orthodoxy, wrestling with New Age beliefs, or simply wondering whether God is still calling you, I hope you’ll join me.

Love in Christ,

Joy Abigail

The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and do not necessarily reflect the official position, teachings, or policies of any Orthodox Christian parish, diocese, metropolis, or jurisdiction.

While I strive to ensure the theological and historical accuracy of the content shared here in accordance with the Holy Tradition of the Orthodox Church, this blog is an independent project. It is intended for educational, informational, and personal reflection purposes only. It should not be used as a substitute for direct spiritual guidance from a canonical Orthodox priest or spiritual father.